I feel like my mind is on the brink of explosion. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past several days, about a lot of different areas of my life. Mind is spinning.
It all began the day I was supposed to begin my internship in the event-planning field. I’d interviewed with an amazing lady who owns her own event-planning business, and she was ready to take me on as a short-term intern for the next few months. At first, I was thrilled about the idea, thinking, “This is something I’m actually excited to do! I’ve always thought event planning sounded fun!” However, as she started emailing me with the dates of different events, wedding rehearsals, holiday parties, etc., that I would be expected to attend, I realized that not only was this new internship going to completely take over my evenings and weekends for the next several months, but I wasn’t even excited about it anymore. I was dreading it. Yes, I do think event planning sounds like a lot of fun. And yes, I do enjoy planning parties. But for some reason, I just didn’t have a good feeling about starting this internship right now.
A few hours before my first night, I was scheduled to have a phone call with my health coach, who is assigned to sort of mentor me throughout my education at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She is the most amazing woman and has been such an inspiration and blessing to me through our monthly conversations! Anyway, while I was on the phone with her, she was asking me how I was progressing with the various marketing and business aspects of starting my health coaching. I had to admit that I really hadn’t done much with that…at all. Gulp. I’m over half-way through the year at IIN, yet I’ve barely done any marketing or bothered to set up my own website, seek out clients, etc. To be short, I’ve just been doing the homework, taking the tests, and doing the necessary studying. As I was talking with Pam, my health coach, I realized, “What am I doing? I want to be a health coach, but I’m doing nothing to make that happen!”
As I told Pam about this new internship I was planning to start, (I was supposed to meet the lady that night to sign the paper and officially start the internship!) I realized that not only did I not WANT to do the internship anymore, but it was actually going to be a distraction in my life from what I really want to be doing with my time. Pam encouraged me to call the lady and be honest with her about my feelings; I was so nervous to do this, but the lady was actually so understanding and told me that if I was interested in interning for her after the holiday season or at any time in the future, I should give her a call. Whew. So, that went well! I felt so relieved as soon as I got off the phone with her. I knew I’d done the right thing.
This experience was a very good one for me, for many reasons. For the sake of keeping this at least somewhat concise, I’ve boiled them down to:
My 5 Realizations from This Past Week:
(catchy title, I know) 😛
1) I realized that I was just doing the internship to AVOID the tough work of starting my health coaching business, and to make myself feel good about “having a job” so I wouldn’t feel pressured to devote myself wholeheartedly to IIN.
2) I realized that it was FEAR that was holding me back from jumping into the marketing and business side of things with my health coaching. This is a whole other topic for another post. Fear has been really holding me back in several areas, and I’m just now starting to realize how widespread it has become in my life. Definitely going to be working on that!
3) I realized how much I DO want to be a health coach! When I allow myself to brainstorm about it, I get so excited and bombarded with tons of ideas for starting my business! I’m passionate about health; passionate about fitness; passionate about helping people live whole and happy lives! I DO want to make this my career; and I believe it is my calling. 🙂
4) I realized how many things in my life are holding me back from pursuing what I really want. Again, this could be a whole post on its own, but the general concept is that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my time management, my relationships, my habits and practices, and more. My mind is spinning from all of it.
5) Last, but definitely not least, I realized that with some of the time I would have been putting toward the internship, I can instead help out with my sister’s wedding planning! She is getting married in mid-November and has a lot of final details and projects that I am thrilled to tackle. It’ll be a fun adventure and definitely more memorable than planning weddings for brides I don’t even know. (as fun as that could still be!) First up: planning the “welcome bags” for our out-of-town relatives, with sightseeing information and other fun gifts to welcome them to our city. 🙂
This post is already getting quite long, so I won’t drag it on too much longer. 😛
Suffice it to say that the past week has been very enlightening for me, shown me a lot about myself, revealed to me some things that are holding me back, and inspired me to press on toward my goals and dreams with new passion! All in all, it’s been a good thing. 🙂
That’s all for now!